@ Forks Over Knives: you're changing my life

@ Christkindlefest:  Yes, your bratwurst, sauerkraut, beer, and kiosks are amazing, but could we maybe work on the name?  Your a German fest.  Let's find a more German name than something that's a Christian meets electronic reader hybrid name.  Thx

Currently having an affair with my TV.  We're watching Christmas movies.

In the spirit of the holidays, (and the words of Lady Gaga): "Light me up, Put me on top, Let's fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la"

When after trying on 30 different sweaters to replace the one you purchased that you don't like, you realize none of the 30 fit.  Stupid sweaters.

Migraines are the devil.  period.

When asked the serious question of "What is love?" the correct response is: "Baby don't hurt me"

@ Derby Pie:  You know, you taste an awful lot like a chocolate chip cookie.......

@Black Friday, Would starting at a decent hour, say 9am, really be so horrible?  What is this 3am bullshit?!  I'm angry that I got up at 3am, and I don't spend as much money when I'm angry....

.....I feel like you should seriously reconsider.

The miracle that is a Brazilian steakhouse

Biting into a solid peppercorn.  Woah!  Spicy.

Realizing that "Now That's What I Call Music" is on #40 when you still remember when it was on #1

The Dane Cook "Oprah" skit.  "Hump-Back-Whales!!!"

Finally Discovering Rick Rolling

...no me canse ahora, que esto solo empieza, da media vuelta, danza kuduro...

Really addicting song, in case you don't yet know it....highlight of my day, though?  discovering there's also a Chipmunk version of it!  HYSTERICAL!

TRIPLE RAINBOWS!

Watching The Lion King 3D as an adult, making it just in time to see the opening chorus, realizing that Scar is so wonderfully and incredibly gay, and rediscovering why that movie is so spectacularly awesome.

The Starbucks Rant Song

Pumpkin Spice Lattes make the world go round.  Oh, and whipped creme.

Laser Hair Removal is the hair gods' gift to ending razor burn

@ Your wallet:  We need to talk

It's forgetting you're not in a manual car anymore and pushing on the break like it were the clutch while coming up to a stop light.

@ Bacon wrapped dates:  OMG you're heavenly.  Why have we not met before?

@ House Guests:  When you are staying at someone else's house, it's rude to leave your stuff everywhere and your phone on and in the kitchen when you're sleeping upstairs.  We don't want to hear the constant beeping and songs from the four thousand text messages you're receiving but won't answer because you're still sleeping upstairs.  Turn off the damn phone or take it with you.

There are no such things as barking spiders.  Own up to the fact that you just ripped one.

@ Weather:  please decide if you would like to give us London, England or Dallas, TX.  Thx

"We speak in words but we think in..."
"Not words?"
"...Pictures."

When you realize, after trying on multiple dresses, that there is a spider on the wall behind you

......and then realizing you broke the bed when you finally go to bed that same Tuesday night

It's sex at 11:30pm on a Tuesday night

The smell of freshly cooked eggs in the morning

Michael Bay movies:  ratio of action to logic, 70:1

Baby Hippo Swimming Flips

When you smile because you made someone else smile by noticing his/her tan or haircut or weight loss or new pair of shoes.

Belly flops are the universe's way of bitch slapping you for being an idiot

When you find yourself saying, "Okay, let's see if I can find my way to work tomorrow in one try," moving proved more challenging than you initially imagined.

@ Scrubby Bubbles: When you run out of fluid after 8 circular spray cycles, you are no longer wonderful.  From now on, I will buy you in a spray can.

People will figure out a way to be broke, but they refuse to be broke and ugly.  I may have run out of milk before, but I've never run out of mascara.

@ Caribou Coffee...."What is one thing you are grateful 4?"

Look carefully at the circled word in the middle, in case you still don't see it.